PARASHAT EIKEV

Saturday 5th August 2023 18th Av 5783

PARASHAT EIKEV

Devarim 7:12 – 11:25; Isaiah 49:14-51:3; Matthew 16:13-20

“If you listen to these laws, safeguarding them and fulfilling them, then Hashem your Lord will guard the covenant that and the love with which He made an oath to your ancestors” (Deuteronomy 7:12).

“If you listen to these laws, safeguarding them and fulfilling them, then Hashem your Lord will guard the covenant that and the love with which He made an oath to your ancestors” (Deuteronomy 7:12).

Rashi, the great medieval Biblical commentator, interprets this verse in a rather surprising way. Rashi says that the laws referred to in this verse are those that we generally “trample underfoot.” In other words, this refers to those commandments – mitzvot – that we feel are insignificant.

Many have struggled to understand why Rashi is limiting the fulfillment discussed in the verse to those types of mitzvot. In fact, it seems contrary to the simple reading of the verse, which seems to imply all types of commandments. What compelled Rashi to explain the verse in this manner?

Consider for a moment that you received a call from your neighbor at 2 a.m. begging you to come right over because his wife had a medical emergency and has to be rushed to the hospital. They have young children sleeping and need someone to come over right away to stay with them. This actually happened to me. Even though I wasn’t particularly close with this family, I did what anyone in that situation would undoubtedly do; I responded in the affirmative and immediately rushed over there.

Now, imagine receiving a call at 2 a.m. from this very same neighbor, but instead he tells you that his pregnant wife has a sudden, intense craving for pickles and ice cream. He then asks you to go to the store to pick them up for her. In this scenario, you would hardly be as accommodating. In fact, you might just begin to wonder whether or not your neighbor has lost his mind, and you’d definitely question the long term viability of the friendship.

Yet, a wife has no qualms about asking her husband to get out of bed at 2 a.m. and pick up items that would satisfy her cravings. Why? The answer, of course, lies in the nature of the relationship. When you are closely connected to someone you can ask things of them that seem insignificant, but that show the strength of the bond. Of course, this is reciprocal and, if the situation were reversed, you would do the same for them.

Here is another way to understand this concept. Obviously, forgetting one’s wedding anniversary is one of the cardinal sins of marriage. A husband (and wife) must treat the day as a special occasion, perhaps buying a nice gift before spending the evening at a nice restaurant. This is a standard expectation.

Now consider a spouse who regularly leaves notes of appreciation or buys flowers for no specific occasion, just to express how much they cherish and appreciate their beloved. Writing short notes or giving flowers aren’t considered grand gestures. Yet, which would be considered a stronger indicator of the strength of the relationship; a very nice dinner once a year on an anniversary or notes and small gifts throughout the year for no specific reason other than to express one’s love?

Grand gestures aren’t necessarily a true barometer of the strength of the relationship, nor is responding to an expectation. We often go out of our way to help those in need, including complete strangers. But does contributing to a random stricken family’s “GoFundMe” page because of a heart wrenching newspaper story, or calling 911 after witnessing a car accident indicate any sort of close relationship? Hardly. That is the humanity within us, and it compels us to respond. It’s not about them; it’s about us.

While it is true that responding to a great need of someone that we care about is of extreme importance, the true measure of the depth of the relationship cannot be determined by that. A true relationship isn’t about responding to a great need, it’s about being tuned in to who they are and what they might appreciate receiving as an expression of our love. In a relationship the value of the gift isn’t determined by the price of what is given; it’s based on how the recipient feels about it.

This is also true in our relationship with the Almighty. Because, for the most part, He is unknowable, we cannot pretend to know “what he really cares about.” God alone decides the true value of our deeds. Therefore, when we follow His commandments, we don’t get to set the true worth of the individual mitzvah – we simply do them because that is His desire, and it’s the little things that count. In this way, our acts are out of love, not out of obligation.

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